In ministry, I had become a bum. I had been so driven to do ministry that it affected my relationship with my wife. It hit me hard one day in 2001, when I realized that I had to choose between my family and ministry. I was an associate pastor in a church in California when one of our neighbors had accused my wife of something and drove to our church to tell on her. When Trish found out, she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted out. She was moving back home to Canada on the east coast. She called home and her grandmother had given her money for her and our two children to fly back home. I was devastated. I couldn’t believe I was at that point in my young pastoral experience. I was watching my world crumble before my eyes. It was happening when I was successful in ministry.

I didn’t know if she was leaving church, God, or me. I had never experienced this before. I really had not preparation for this either. It seemed this was the one thing they forgot to mention to us students in Bible College. I still remember the day, as I sat in the senior pastor’s office and told him my wife was moving back home whether I was coming with her or not. She was leaving.

How do you handle things when they seem past the point of helplessness?


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