Today is my dad’s 70th birthday. I just got off the phone with him. I called him to wish him a happy birthday. Since becoming an adult, I’ve not spent much time with my parents. I miss them. I’ve lived away from home most of my adult life. I came across this journal entry the other day. It made me think about my cost for following Christ. Here is my journal entry from Tuesday, 25 May 2004

If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine.  If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. NLT – Matthew 10:37–39.

I’ve often considered the cost I have made to follow Christ. I have always tried to follow Christ. I have always tried to go where he has told me to go. It has always meant a move. I have followed Christ all over this country. For most of my time here in Hawaii has left me questioning the Lord. I have struggled with this whole Army endeavor. I have tried to find some holy purpose coming into the Army. Then when I got hurt, I was crushed.

Just the other day though, I was thinking about the whole Army experience and I realized that coming into the Army enlisted humbled me. Since having my degree, I could have come in as an officer, but I never felt God’s directing me to do that. I remember back to the lessons I learned from basic training and feel as though that time as a private there gave me a whole new perspective on people. For most of my time in ministry I had forgot about people. I had always looked down on people. On the outside it seemed as though I was really caring, but on the inside I had always put myself above people. Just yesterday, as I was driving home from work I looked at the people who were walking around the shopping area and asked myself if I could really love these people. I couldn’t honestly answer yes.

Sunday morning I took the kids to the beach down the street from our house and had church on the beach. That day the Lord told me to get Bibles and use them to minister to the surfers at the beach. He told me to take the church to the people. He has also told me to give Bibles to every home on in my area. Not only am I to give Bibles out, but also I am to teach it to them. The Lord has called me to be a missionary there in Ewa Beach. He has instructed me to teach his word. I am to allow the spirit of God time to work through my life. My area is to hear about Christ and I am the one to do it. Since moving in to our house, the only people I have had stop by our house are Jehovah’s Witness. We have lived in our house since February and I haven’t been called on by any church and there is an Assembly of God church, Nazarene church, and Missionary Bible church within a two-block radius of our house. I honestly feel if the church won’t come to the people then I will go to the people.

What will it cost you to do what God is calling you to do?


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